Friendship- concepts

·         Friend vs. Acquaintance- Differences and Definitions

a. depth of caring

b. meaning in the relationship for each party

c. exchange/mutuality of support

d. interest in maintaining and nurturing the relationship

e. sense of connection with other party

·         Qualities of a friend

a.       Integrity including honesty, consistency, reliability/dependability/following through on commitments, trustworthiness, trusting, free of deceit, willing to move past quarrels- apologizing and forgiving.

b.      God-like attributes like non-judgmental, loving/unconditional love, supportive, consistency, faithful, offering safety to be oneself and allowing you to be vulnerable in safety, acceptance, forgiving, shared values and ethics.

c.       Sensitivity including displaying interest, empathy, vulnerability, support, providing a safe audience, willing to listen, attentive, observant, appreciation for others happiness, helpful.

d.      Contrast and commonalities in personality and opinions- to provide stimulating company, fun to be with.

·         Degrees of association

a.       Degree of friendship spectrum ranges from acquaintance, to friend due to proximity or situation, long term/lifelong, and intimate relationships. Degree of association is affected by life stage, personal habits and choice

·         Differences between men and women

a.       Friendships are conducted and felt differently depending on which sex/sexes are involved. Definition of friendship is different for each gender. Beliefs about the roles friends play in their lives and what they expect from them are dissimilar.

b.      Men- time with friends has a purpose and centers around “activities”. Relationships between men- “It can be maybe less drama”, “I guess maybe it can be more real” with implication that friendships between men are more sincere.

c.    Women- relationships with friends are for emotional support, open and honest exchange. Relationships between women- “Girls are more emotional with their friendships”.

·         How to make friends

a.       Opportunities to form friendships

b.      Propinquity and friendship

c.       Learning friendship skills

·         How to be a friend

a.       “Being a friend” includes how to be a friend to others/what others can expect from you, how a friend should act towards you, and what is required to maintain friendships.

·         Why friendship ends

a.       Friendship fades due to loss of propinquity, loss of interest, competing interests, loss of commonalities and loss of reward.